INTRODUCTION

It may seem counterintuitive, but there can actually be an upside to discovering a betrayal. Coming to terms with a betrayal provides the opportunity to identify and fix problems in your relationship. Problems are always going to arise in any relationship. Learning how to deal with problems in ways that restore trust and foster intimacy can lead to a deeper sense of love and commitment. And by learning how to address issues as they arise, you will be better able to deal with future problems before they turn into a full-blown crisis.

How Our Advice Is Presented

To help you work through the betrayal you’ve encountered, we’ve organized our book into two parts. In the first half of the book, we help you make sense of why and how you were betrayed and provide some guidelines for assessing the damage done. We also help you decide if your relationship is worth trying to save. Next, we identify common relational problems that underlie most intimate transgressions. We also provide insight into the different ways that people react to an intimate betrayal.

In the second half of the book, we provide the skills and knowledge you need to help you manage your emotions. We also offer detailed advice and techniques to repair broken trust and help you create a healthier and more satisfying relationship. We know you may be tempted to jump to the second half of the book because you’re undoubtedly looking for solutions, but you’ll have a better chance of success if you fully understand the dynamics underlying an intimate betrayal before applying the skills needed to make things better.

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