Ideally, your goal is to get your partner to listen to what you have to say and empathize with your point of view. If you can’t gain your partner’s cooperation, the odds of working things out are virtually nonexistent. While it only takes one person’s mistakes to bring a relationship crashing down, it requires both parties’ cooperation to make things right. You cannot rebuild trust on your own.

Additional Activities to Help You Engage Your Partner Constructively

These two activities are helpful when couples need to have a difficult, uncomfortable conversation.

Outsider’s Perspective. Approaching your partner with a constructive mind-set is easier to do when you take a moment to see the situation from a different viewpoint. Imagine that you weren’t involved in the betrayal at hand. How would you recommend that someone else bring up the issue with their partner? Spend five minutes writing down how you think someone else should raise the issue and handle the problem. Be specific. What exactly should that person say to their partner? Also consider that person’s nonverbal behavior. Would you recommend that the person raise the issue calmly or with a lot of anger and hostility?