It’s only when a betrayal comes to light that people become aware of the Paradox of Intimacy and immediately question if their relationship is broken beyond repair. Sure there might be a few lucky individuals who are never exposed to a partner’s betrayal, but for the most part, many people experience the hurt, anger, and confusion from discovering broken promises and deception in their romantic relationships.

Using the Paradox of Intimacy to Solve Problems More Effectively

It would be great, of course, if we could create relationships where partners always live up to each other’s expectations and never lie. But that’s not the world we live in. We can, however, use our knowledge about the Paradox of Intimacy to solve problems in our relationships more effectively.

The secret to working through an intimate betrayal is learning how to communicate with a partner in a way that promotes closeness and understanding, but doesn’t make a partner feel threatened when telling the truth. We know that learning such skills can be difficult, but they are critical when trying to deal with an intimate betrayal.

We’re not saying that the skills laid out in this book will solve all of your relational problems, but they’ll help you resolve issues of broken trust in the most effective way possible. If you can’t deal with the problems in your relationships using the techniques we provide, then that can be an indication of more serious problems, and you might want to consider consulting a therapist or marriage counselor. Or it might be an indication that the issues in your relationship can’t be reconciled; ending a relationship is sometimes the best thing to do.