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Reply To: Will the trust ever return? When will I stop feeling so insecure and angry?

Home Forums Questions about your relationship Will the trust ever return? When will I stop feeling so insecure and angry? Reply To: Will the trust ever return? When will I stop feeling so insecure and angry?

#6695 Reply
tcole
Tim Cole
Keymaster

Sorry to hear about your situation. Asking yourself a few questions might be helpful.

To begin with, are your feelings of insecurity based mostly on what you discovered or did  you feel insecure before you made the discovery and in your other relationships? If you have a tendency to feel insecure, it’s really important to address this issue in counseling. In many cases, insecurity can be a reoccurring theme across relationships and made worse by your current situation.

On the other hand, if you’re typically trusting and secure, but your insecurity stems from your boyfriend’s behavior, then it may help to focus on things that currently trigger your anxiety. What are the specific triggers that illicit your feelings of insecurity. Make a list of those triggers. Also, come up with a plan for dealing with your feelings as they occur. Be sure to acknowledge and express your feelings as they arise (journaling can be helpful). And be sure to take actions to address those feelings such as talking to your boyfriend or try thinking about those triggers in a different light. People often try to ignore or block out such painful experiences, however, doing so leads to prolonged anger, resentment, and rumination. Taking active steps to deal with your emotions as they arise can be very helpful. This approach is also best addressed with a counselor who can help you develop strategies for dealing with such feelings.

With the right help, knowledge, and skills, many people are able to regain trust, especially when dealing with a partner who is working hard to address the issue.

Hope this helps.

Tim

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