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tcole
Tim Cole
Keymaster

I’m so sorry to hear that your problem isn’t getting resolved. When a partner isn’t either willing or able to see the situation from your point of view, it can be very difficult to restore trust and engage in forgiveness. For couples to work through problems there needs to be empathy, mutual understanding and a willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions.

Given that you’re not satisfied with your husband’s responses, it might help to be clear about how you feel. You may want to tell your husband that it will be very difficult for you to work through the issue until he understands your point of view and how you’re feeling about the situation.

Perhaps you can tell your husband that your feelings won’t go away until he respects how you’re feeling — that he gets how you’re feeling and takes responsibility for his actions.
If you try to dismiss or discount your feelings, it will most likely continue to cause problems in your relationship.

The best way forward to is get your husband’s cooperation — to have him respect your feelings and take them seriously. His willingness to take your perspective into account is an issue you should raise in counseling and make it clear how important this issue is to your counselor as well.

Relationships are so complicated because you can’t fix problems on your own. You truly need your husband’s cooperation and without it will be very difficult for you to work things out.

Again, make this clear to both him and your counselor.

Hope this is helpful.

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