Reply To: Broken trust through lying

Reply To: Broken trust through lying

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tcoleTim Cole

Hello… a partner’s poor reaction to hearing the truth is one of the most common reasons that people stop telling their partners the full story. Your behavior is very consistent with what the research shows.

It can be very difficult to change a partner’s behavior to hearing the truth. With that said, you can think about the situation in a way that is more helpful.

When you make a mistake, which everyone does from time to time, try to treat yourself with love and compassion. Acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake, take responsibility for it, approach your partner and tell him or her what you’ve done. If your partner reacts poorly, try not to take his or her criticism or reaction personally.

Keep in mind that you’re only human and you’re doing the right thing. Your partner isn’t handling the situation in the best way possible, but that doesn’t mean that you should take on their criticism or negativity. You’re handling the situation and take pride in the fact that you’re owning your mistakes.

Think about how an outsider would look at the situation — an outsider would admire your willingness to acknowledge your mistakes and would probably view your partner’s response poorly. Treat yourself with compassion and try not to take on your partner’s negative reaction — you’ve made a mistake and now your doing the right thing and you don’t have to feel bad about yourself because of how your partner reacts.

Hope that helps!